Billy Bored Thornton Presents...Sling Bored

[sunflower]

I will not respond to this kind of absolute nonsense.

Exactly what people tend to say when they find themselves in a predicament that they can't seem to talk their way out of...

[peacock2121]

Scene: A young blogger Annie Camaro is talking with Uly Childers, an emotionally troubled man recently released from a unique place in cyberspace.




Uly Childers: I reckon what you'd wantin' to know is what I'ma doin' in here. I reckon the reason I'm in here cause I killed somebody from the Bored. Mm-hmm. But I reckon that you'd wantin' to know is how come he killed somebody. So I reckon I'll start at the front. Mm-hmm. I lived out on my mother's and father's website. Most of my life in a little ole webpage that my daddy built for me. Mm. They didn't too much want me up there in the main page with the rest of 'em. Mm. But mostly I just sat around out there on my page creating avatars, mmm. I didn't have no Photoshop. Took all the squirrel pitchers myself. Mm-hmm.




My father was a hard-workin' man most of his life. Not that I can say the same for myself. I mostly would just sit around out there the webpage starin’ at my squirrel pitchers. Went to other webpages from time to time. But the children on those were very cruel to me, make quite a bit of sport of me, make fun of me quite a bit. But mostly I would just sit around out there, on my webpage. One day my daddy went to a place called The Bored and began workin’ with an old man named Grandpa Beast. My daddy became a moderator on that Bored. And old man Beast was a very cruel feller. Didn't treat his moderators very well. Didn't pay 'em too much of a wage. Didn't pay my daddy too much of wage. Just barely enough to get by, I reckon. But I reckon he got by alright. Mm. They used to check out my page, one or the other of 'em, usually my mother, look at my avatars. Well, I know he had enough bandwidth to where I could post my squirrel avatars three or four times a week. One day he showed me the Bored. Mm, mm.



Well old man Beast, he had a grandson name was Littlebeast. Littlebeast was really more cruel than his grandpa was. He used to make quite a bit of sport of me when I was logged in. He used to take advantage of me on the Bored. He used to say that the squirrels in my avatars were very pretty squirrels. He said that quite a bit from time-to-time while I'd be down there. Well, I reckon you want me to get on with it, and tell you what happen. So, I reckon I'll tell ye.

I was sittin' out there on the Bored one evening, not doin' too much of nothin', just kinda talkin’ to someone named Kiki, mm, waitin' on my latest avatar to upload. Mm. Mm-hmm. Well, I heard a co-motion on the other side of the Bored, mm, so I went and looked to see what is a goin' on. Come to find out Littlebeast had a link to his own place, Mmm, called Photobucket, and it was all fulla pitchers.

I looked in the Photobucket site and there I seen some of my purty squirrel pitchers redrawn in all sorts of ways. Squirrel heads with bird bodies. Squirrels carrying machine guns and whatnot.

Well, I just seen red.

I logged me off and went to the local Walmart, that’s where Littlebeast worked at nights. Mmm-hmm. I picked up a bottle of Evenly Gorgeous Body Wash. Some folks call it exfoliating and lusciously moisturizing, but I just call it Evenly Gorgeous. It comes in a long, slender bottle, shaped kinda like a bananner. Mm-hmm. Wavy on the top, flat on the other. What the other BBs use to keep their skin soft and whatnot.

Well, I waited fer him behind a rack of women’s pajammers. Mmm. Then I went into the laundry aisle and I hit Littlebeast upside the head with the Evenly Gorgeous. Knocked him into the economy bottles of Tide. Mm. I reckon that didn't quite satisfy me. So I hit him again with it in the neck with the wavy edge, just plum near cut his head off. Mm-hmm. Killed him.



Now Sunflower, a friend of Littlebeast’s who was in the next aisle over, she came over and started hollerin' "What'd you kill Littlebeast fer? What'd you kill Littlebeast fer?" Well, mm, come to find out I don't reckon Sunflower minded what Littlebeast was a doin' to my squirrels. I reckon that made me madder than what Littlebeast’d made me. So, I takin' the Evenly Gorgeous Body Wash, some folks call it exfoliating and lusciously moisturizing, but I just call it Evenly Gorgeous; and I hit Sunflower up side the head with it. Killed her.

Some folks has asked me, "If you had it to do over again, would you do it the same way?" I reckon I would. Seein' how they seem fit to put me in here. I been on this Bored for a great long while. I learned to use Photoshop. Took me four years to use it. I reckon I understand a great deal of it. I made a lot of posts for a great long while. Now they seem fit to put me outta here. They say they're settin' me free today. Any how, I reckon that's all you needin' to know. You wanna hear about more details; I reckon I can tell 'em to ye. I don't know whether or not that is enough for your blog, Miss Camaro or not. Mm-hmm.

Annie Camaro: Will you ever kill anybody again, Uly?

[Long Pause]
Uly: I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody. Mm. Unless, of course, they don’t play Decades! Starting in September. Mm-hmm.

This are just too funny - I am too stoopid to know that vandal is writing them! I can't figure out MM to save my life.

[peacock2121]

Woohoo!!! I think this is the first time I ever gave up my life for the Bored!

I guess that is assuming I even had the "life" part of that in the first place.....

And I am honored to have died in the same aisle as Hooly...... how romantic!

lb13

LOL - how romantic?

You have got it bad.

so cute.

[peacock2121]

You can always come back as hooligansgh0st.

I guess I might have to. Damn Evenly Gorgeous...it already clogs my shower drain, but I never thought it would kill me...

Given the particle size, I think it is something other than the EG.

We test that kind of stuff, you know.

Uh oh. I am thinking this is where this thread started to turn.

[peacock2121]

I guess I might have to. Damn Evenly Gorgeous...it already clogs my shower drain, but I never thought it would kill me...

Given the particle size, I think it is something other than the EG.

We test that kind of stuff, you know.

Oh, and if you don't like it, don't use it.

Double uh oh.

Christie - did you give a bottle to sunflower as well?

[christie1111]

Given the particle size, I think it is something other than the EG.

We test that kind of stuff, you know.

Oh, and if you don't like it, don't use it.

Double uh oh.

Christie - did you give a bottle to sunflower as well?

Yup.

Silly me.

[tlynn78]

Yup.

Silly me.

I dint get one.

snif.



t.

[DevilKitty100]

Yup.

Silly me.

I dint get one.

snif.



t.

If you ask nicely, Mefl..........oops, Sunflower, would probably send you hers.

bhfh.

[peacock2121]

Oh, and if you don't like it, don't use it.

Double uh oh.

Christie - did you give a bottle to sunflower as well?

Yup.

Silly me.

Uh oh.

I haven't finished reading this thread, I got sidetracked by our new little baby's thread.

I shall now go back and finish.

You sound mad.

Do I need to beat someone up?

Me and t-girl can kick anyone's ass.

[peacock2121]

Given the particle size, I think it is something other than the EG.

We test that kind of stuff, you know.

Oh, and if you don't like it, don't use it.

Wow, Christie, really? I was just sitting here waiting for you to give me permission not to use a specific health and beauty product. God knows, as a 33 year old adult, I can't figure that out for myself.

I was going to provide an explanation, but never mind now.

Holy crap!

Sunflower, you can not mean this. I refuse to believe that you are can not and do not appreciate what pride and joy christie took in this product and how what you said could have fallen for her.

You have got to be kidding me!

[peacock2121]

I guess I might have to. Damn Evenly Gorgeous...it already clogs my shower drain, but I never thought it would kill me...

That's why you should always use it in moderation.

Or not at all, apparently.

pissy, pissy, pissy.

Could you for one second see how saying something negative about a product that christie worked so hard on and gave you a gift of, would have or could have struck a nerve and hurt her feelings?

I know getting outside yourself is not a 'normal' reaction for you, but.... really?!

[peacock2121]

That's why you should always use it in moderation.

Or not at all, apparently.

Well, if you don't want yours, you can send it down here to me!

I love it and it doesn't clog my drain.

I also wouldn't insult the developer of the product I was ripping in a public forum, even if I did feel that way.

Obviously, you have no such qualms.

Okay, melly said it nicer than me.

But, jesus, melly said something bordering on mean, so unlike and out of character for her (not so for me, clearly), can you get it now?

[peacock2121]

Or not at all, apparently.

Well, if you don't want yours, you can send it down here to me!

I love it and it doesn't clog my drain.

I also wouldn't insult the developer of the product I was ripping in a public forum, even if I did feel that way.

Obviously, you have no such qualms.

I didn't say a) I didn't like it or b) I don't want it.

I also was not given the chance to explain it (to blame it on a combination of my particular drain, my long hair and the product..and that I have similar issues with anything with particles in it).

Nor was I insulting the developer of the product in her professional capacity. I was making a simple response to a joke thread where it was originally used as a lethal weapon. Yet, only my comment was picked up on, interesting.

Anyway, while we're on this topic, if said developer can talk about me behind my back, then act fake nice to my face...or make little passive aggressive insults but not have the balls to stand behind them and instead pretend they were jokes...well really, I have no qualms about anything I say to her, to be perfectly honest.

This just gets better and better!

While we are on the topic?!?

What topic, exactly?

You use this an an opportunity to speak about something you heard that christie said, not like a conversation but as a defense for being so blind.

You think someone is gossiping about you? Bring it up with them to get to the bottom of it - get it out in the open - If you don't care that they are - why bring it up?

You gotta be kidding me.

[peacock2121]

This doesn't involve you, Marley...

That is hysterical - if it doesn't involve him, why is he able to read about it and know about it - you have involved everyone who reads this thread in this, missy.

[peacock2121]

Jesus H. Freakin' Christ, what have you done to my thread?

Health and beauty aid products? Clogged drains?

Please stop!

Do not make me go all Bad Santa on you.

Bad Santa !

[peacock2121]

It is not my intention to insult Christie, or anyone involved in the developement of Caress Evenly Gorgeous. I enjoy the Caress Evenly Gorgeous, I love the way it smells, it actually makes my entire bathroom smell good but, like Sunflower, I have noticed it does clog the drain. Also like Sunflower, I have long hair and "shed" like crazy, so that could be a contributing factor as well, but I have noticed that when I do use it, I am usually standing in a few inches of water, by the end of my shower.We have actually talked about this in chat, and it's never been said in a mean or negative way, imo.

See, now this is thoughtful and informative and considerate.

[peacock2121]

And considering I gave you the sample for free, I think it is rude to make negative comments.

Send me your address and I'll gladly send it back. I haven't touched the bottle you gave me, I'm still using the one I purchased myself at Walmart.

Dove and Oil of Olay do the same thing and it just is what it is. I'm just being honest. I'm sorry that you take some sort of personal offense at it, but it doesn't make it less true. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't clog my drain to make you feel better!

Oh, and I think you have a false impression of me spending my time talking about you behind your back. I have MUCH more important things to do.

Given that I've heard it from several sources over the course of several months, I truly doubt that. I wish you had more important things to do because frankly, it's getting old...every time I think the high school antics may have ended, there's someone else telling me the nasty things you say when I'm not around. Or "jokes" to use your terminology, maybe that will help jog your memory.

So, someone(s) is/are gossiping about christie gossiping about you and you are repeating it?

Yup, high school all right.

[peacock2121]

Yup.

Silly me.

I dint get one.

snif.



t.

If you ask nicely, Mefl..........oops, Sunflower, would probably send you hers.

bhfh.

Bad girl!

[BigDrawMan]

I'm shocked where this thread led.

[DevilKitty100]

I'm shocked where this thread led.

Ah think that there's whut done happened to BBT, too. Got shocked.

[peacock2121]

I'm shocked where this thread led.

I bet you are shocked to find gambling going on as well.

[Beebs52]

I'm a delicate emotional flower and this all has just vaporized my swoon factor.

[peacock2121]

I'm a delicate emotional flower and this all has just vaporized my swoon factor.

What kind of flower?

[Beebs52]

I'm a delicate emotional flower and this all has just vaporized my swoon factor.

What kind of flower?

I'M A DELICATE EMOTIONAL... I just realized that I coincidentally used that phrase in a previous thread, utilizing the horticultural verbiage and not realizing the interconnectedness of it all.

Or, perhaps my subconcious id/ego/superego/brain monkey took over.

[MarleysGh0st]

I'm a delicate emotional flower and this all has just vaporized my swoon factor.

What kind of flower?

You must have missed it when that was determined earlier this week.

As you can see by her new avatar, she's a thistle.

Delicate. Emotional. And just slightly prickly.