Meanwhile, in Florida...

[Vandal]

Florida lawyer whose pants caught fire charged with cocaine possession

A former South Florida lawyer whose pants caught on fire during a 2017 arson trial has been charged with cocaine possession, authorities said.

Stephen Gutierrez, 32, was pulled over on Monday night for a broken headlight, according to a Miami-Dade police report.

Gutierrez made headlines four years ago while he was defending a client who was accused of setting his car on fire for insurance money. During the March 2017 trial, Gutierrez was explaining that the incident was a result of spontaneous combustion when his pants caught fire.

https://www.boston.com/news/national-ne ... UBY0_ngIkQ

[silverscreenselect]

Florida lawyer whose pants caught fire charged with cocaine possession

A former South Florida lawyer whose pants caught on fire during a 2017 arson trial has been charged with cocaine possession, authorities said.

Stephen Gutierrez, 32, was pulled over on Monday night for a broken headlight, according to a Miami-Dade police report.

Gutierrez made headlines four years ago while he was defending a client who was accused of setting his car on fire for insurance money. During the March 2017 trial, Gutierrez was explaining that the incident was a result of spontaneous combustion when his pants caught fire.

https://www.boston.com/news/national-ne ... UBY0_ngIkQ

Liar, liar ...

[Vandal]

[T_Bone0806]

Unfortunately for the rooster, the reunion took place at dinner...

[Vandal]

A Couple of Young Orlando Women Dressed Up as Grannies To Get The Vaccine

A couple of Orlando ladies, one 34 and one 44, got caught dressing up like old ladies to get a Covid vaccine at the Orange County Convention Center. They got caught because the names they provided were already in the registry, and the birth dates they gave didn’t match. But this was for their second dose of the vaccine, and they had legit dose cards showing they’d already gotten the first one somehow. I guess their costumes of glasses, bonnets, and gloves fooled someone one time. But this time they got caught, and the case has been turned over to the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.

https://www.wmmo.com/fp/couple-young-or ... t-vaccine/

[Vandal]

From Alaska:

Bear bites woman through toilet in outhouse

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - An Alaska woman had the scare of a lifetime when using an outhouse in the backcountry and she was attacked by a bear, from below.

"I got out there and sat down on the toilet and immediately something bit my butt right as I sat down," Shannon Stevens told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I jumped up and I screamed when it happened."


https://www.fox5ny.com/news/bear-bites- ... n-outhouse

[BackInTex]

From Alaska:

Bear bites woman through toilet in outhouse

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - An Alaska woman had the scare of a lifetime when using an outhouse in the backcountry and she was attacked by a bear, from below.

"I got out there and sat down on the toilet and immediately something bit my butt right as I sat down," Shannon Stevens told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I jumped up and I screamed when it happened."


https://www.fox5ny.com/news/bear-bites- ... n-outhouse

Someone needs help writing headlines. It should read "Bear Bites Bare Butt"

[Vandal]

California carpool driver busted with masked mannequin in passenger's seat

Authorities in California busted a carpool driver with a mannequin who bore an uncanny resemblance to a human.

The California Highway Patrol said the Toyota Tacoma was traveling in the carpool lane on the 210 Freeway in Glendora last Friday, NBC Los Angeles reported. An officer driving next to the Tacoma noticed the passenger wasn't moving and pulled the driver over on suspicion for tinted windows, according to the station.

After rolling down the windows, the driver revealed the passenger was not a real person, the state patrol said. Instead, the driver said he had been driving with the mannequin for more than a year before he was finally caught by the officer, according to the agency.



https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ca ... t-n1258818

[Vandal]

From India:

Indian man killed by his own bird during cockfight

A cockerel that had been fitted with a knife for an illegal cockfight has killed its owner in southern India.
The bird's owner was impaled in the groin by the knife as the animal tried to escape. The man died on the way to hospital from a loss of blood.
Police are now searching for 15 more people involved in the event, which took place in the village of Lothunur in Telangana state earlier this week.
The animal was held at a police station before being transferred to a farm.
Police said the animal was being readied to take part in a fight when it tried to escape. Its owner attempted to catch it but was struck by the 7cm-long (three inch) knife on the bird's leg during the struggle.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-56224144

[Vandal]

Florida golfer found drowned after searching for lost ball

A Florida golfer is believed to have drowned after falling into a golf club pond while looking for his lost ball Sunday morning, police say.

Hermilo Jazmines of Lutz, Florida, was playing golf with a friend at the East Lake Woodlands Country Club in Oldsmar, the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office said in a news release Sunday.
"At about 7:37 a.m., Jazmines teed off at hole number three and was last seen looking for his ball near the green. Jazmines' golf cart was parked on the cart path and his putter was found lying on the ground near the water," the sheriff's office said.
Deputies were called after Jazmines was reported missing and helped the Oldsmar Fire Department search the wooded area and the edge of the pond, the release said.
"The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office dive team responded and located Jazmines submerged in the water near his putter. He was pronounced deceased on scene," the release said.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/28/us/flori ... index.html

[SpacemanSpiff]

From India:

Indian man killed by his own bird during cockfight

A cockerel that had been fitted with a knife for an illegal cockfight has killed its owner in southern India.
The bird's owner was impaled in the groin by the knife as the animal tried to escape. The man died on the way to hospital from a loss of blood.
Police are now searching for 15 more people involved in the event, which took place in the village of Lothunur in Telangana state earlier this week.
The animal was held at a police station before being transferred to a farm.
Police said the animal was being readied to take part in a fight when it tried to escape. Its owner attempted to catch it but was struck by the 7cm-long (three inch) knife on the bird's leg during the struggle.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-56224144

I think the University of South Carolina has found their new live mascot.

[Vandal]

Driver swerves to avoid falling couch in Florida, crashes and gets ticketed

It’s an uncomfortable situation.

A woman driving on a Florida interstate swerved to dodge a couch that fell off a truck, and received a $166 ticket from state troopers while lying on a hospital bed after crashing.

Jake Singer and his girlfriend, who asked not to be identified, were driving home to Washington, D.C., on Feb. 20 after visiting family in Boca Raton, they told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. They made it about 90 miles north on I-95 when a couch fell out of a truck directly in front of them.

Singer’s girlfriend swerved to avoid the couch, and the couple’s car slammed into a median, according to the Sun-Sentinel. It flipped over, but Singer and his girlfriend escaped without serious injuries.

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/nation ... story.html

[SpacemanSpiff]

Why does that most recent comment remind me of a bad joke?

Did you hear about the southern State Trooper that hit a pedestrian with his police cruiser and knocked him 50 feet into the air?

Spoiler

The State Trooper charged the pedestrian with leaving the scene of an accident.

[Vandal]

Texas checks in...

A Texas man drove a car loaned to him by a dealership to a bank, robbed the bank, and then brought the money back to the dealership to buy a BMW

LUBBOCK COUNTY (CBSDFW.COM) — Prosecutors said he drove a vehicle loaned to him by a car dealership to rob a bank in Texas and brought the money back to try and use for a down payment on a BMW, now Eric Dion Warren is headed to prison.

Warren, who plead guilty to bank robbery has been sentenced to 20 years in federal prison.

According to court documents, it was during the summer of 2019 when Warren went into a bank in Wolfforth, Texas and walked up to a teller. The 50-year-old then put a bag from a fast-food restaurant and a note on the counter.

The note read: “This is a f—— robbery. Play with me and die. I want $10,000 in 50 and 100 dollar bills now you got 1 minute or I will kill you.” After showing the teller the note, Warren pulled out what looked like a handgun and said, “I ain’t playing around, I only want 100s and 50s.”


https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2021/03/10/tex ... t-buy-bmw/

[Vandal]

High-schooler and her mother hacked school records to steal homecoming queen election, police say

Carroll’s daughter was crowned homecoming queen on Oct. 31 under the bright football-field lights. Flanked by her first and second runners-, she accepted a bouquet of red roses and ivory and black sashes proclaiming her title.
But some time after the vote had closed, Election Runner contacted the school to warn that dozens of votes had been flagged as fraudulent.

“Approximately 117 votes originated from the same Internet Protocol (IP) address within a short period of time,” arrest documents said.
Around the same time, the school’s student council coordinator learned that the student was telling people she “utilized her mother’s … account to cast votes,” according to arrest documents.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2 ... t-florida/

[SpacemanSpiff]

Bicyclist falls to his death after failing to beat Miami drawbridge

https://www.al.com/news/2021/03/bicycli ... ridge.html

By The Associated Press
MIAMI (AP) — A bicyclist who ignored warning signs and tried to beat a Miami drawbridge slid to his death down the rising concrete slab, police said.

Fred Medina, 58, was on his morning bike ride from Aventura to Key Biscayne when he tried to make it past the drawbridge over the Miami River around 6 a.m. Wednesday, according to Miami police spokeswoman Kenia Fallat. “He tried to overtake the opening,” Fallat told the Miami Herald.

“He slid down the bridge and fell in between the section of the bridge that moves and the fixed part of the roadway,” said Medina’s friend, Stephen Tannenbaum, who spoke with WSVN. Medina had been biking with another friend, who crossed the bridge ahead of him, he said.

Medina was an entertainment and technology executive who mostly worked in Latin American media. He was a principal of Redline Advisors, a media marketing consulting firm.

“Fred had an impressive track record in the world of television and media,” Enrique R. Martinez, chairman of the Latin American Council for Media Advertising, said in a statement.

The Downtown Development Authority has been working with the Florida Department of Transportation to install gates that would block people from going under the arms, Miami Commissioner Ken Russell said.

“To me, this is about cycling safety and making sure the city, county and state have the right infrastructure to make cycling safe for everyone in the city,” he said.

[I would beg to differ -- but it's just another sign that common sense isn't that common - SS]

[SpacemanSpiff]

Florida mom accused of going to school with boxing glove glued to hand, punching student

https://www.al.com/news/2021/03/florida ... udent.html

https://www.firstcoastnews.com/article/ ... 4e41650949

How you (unintentionally) glue a boxing glove to your hand is beyond me.

[BackInTex]

Florida mom accused of going to school with boxing glove glued to hand, punching student

https://www.al.com/news/2021/03/florida ... udent.html

How you (unintentionally) glue a boxing glove to your hand is beyond me.

Same way you put Gorilla Glue all in your hair....stupidity.

[Vandal]

Florida Women, Who Was Missing For 3 Weeks, Found Naked In A Storm Drain

A naked woman has been rescued from DELRAY BEACH, Fla after she was trapped in a storm drain.

Delray Beach Fire Rescue spokeswoman Dani Moschella explained that the lady was trapped in a storm drain along Southwest 11th Avenue set south of Atlantic Avenue.

A passerby walking near the location heard the woman‘s voice calling from the storm drain. He then immediately called 911 just before 9 a.m.

https://www.folkspaper.com/topic/florid ... um=twitter

[Bob Juch]

Florida Women, Who Was Missing For 3 Weeks, Found Naked In A Storm Drain

A naked woman has been rescued from DELRAY BEACH, Fla after she was trapped in a storm drain.

Delray Beach Fire Rescue spokeswoman Dani Moschella explained that the lady was trapped in a storm drain along Southwest 11th Avenue set south of Atlantic Avenue.

A passerby walking near the location heard the woman‘s voice calling from the storm drain. He then immediately called 911 just before 9 a.m.

https://www.folkspaper.com/topic/florid ... um=twitter

That doesn't pass my sniff test (pun intended).

[BackInTex]

Florida Women, Who Was Missing For 3 Weeks, Found Naked In A Storm Drain

A naked woman has been rescued from DELRAY BEACH, Fla after she was trapped in a storm drain.

Delray Beach Fire Rescue spokeswoman Dani Moschella explained that the lady was trapped in a storm drain along Southwest 11th Avenue set south of Atlantic Avenue.

A passerby walking near the location heard the woman‘s voice calling from the storm drain. He then immediately called 911 just before 9 a.m.

https://www.folkspaper.com/topic/florid ... um=twitter

That doesn't pass my sniff test (pun intended).

I'm calling BS. That was no lady.

[Estonut]

New York checks in...

Suspect Gives Couple His ID After Breaking In, Stealing Their Money in NY Hotel

Police say they arrested a Long Island man after he allegedly left his ID following a hotel room break-in in Manhasset, New York on April 16.

Michael C. Lee, 29, allegedly entered another guest's room at the Travelodge hotel on Northern Boulevard at around 3 a.m. through their unlocked sliding glass window, according to CBS New York.

The female guest, 33, called out to her boyfriend, 44, for help upon encountering Lee, Daily Voice reported.

The couple demanded to know why he was in their room and asked for his ID.

Lee willingly handed over his driver's license and fled the room without retrieving it.

The woman alerted the police after noticing her money was gone.

Lee was arrested at 5:05 a.m. the same day without incident, according to authorities.

He is charged with second-degree burglary and seventh-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance. He was arraigned last Friday.

[Estonut]

I can't quite put my finger on why this is one of my favorites ever...

Tire slasher leaves severed finger in Arizona woman's driveway


An Arizona woman called the police after she found a Halloween-like sight in her driveway. She noticed that someone had slashed her SUV's tires, and a closer look revealed the perpetrator left part of a finger behind.

"I literally have been laughing all day because if I don't, I might cry," Francesca Wikoff told Maricopa-based news channel KCTV5. She's a former EMT, so she's used to seeing gore, but the discovery came as a big surprise.

While photos taken at the crime scene were blurred by police officers before being released to the media, we can tell the slasher left a good chunk of a finger in Wikoff's driveway. It's not just a small bruise. It must have hurt, too. One of her neighbors said he heard a loud scream and a car speeding off about 10:30 p.m. on Thursday, April 15.

Even without fingerprints, and part of the finger they belong to, finding who slashed the GMC Suburban's tires was simple. Wikoff told investigators she found a trail of blood that starts at the SUV and leads to the house of a neighbor she argued with before the rubber and flesh carnage. What's more mysterious is why he left the finger.

"It's pretty comical. You would think that if you're gonna go to the hospital, especially if you just severed your finger off, that you would take said finger with you," she told KCTV5.

As of writing, investigators haven't been able to find and interrogate the neighbor, but they put the finger in a brown paper bag, presumably to perform DNA tests.

[SpacemanSpiff]

... time for this one to...go through a windshield?

"Turtle crashes through windshield on Florida highway, gashes woman’s head"

https://www.al.com/news/2021/04/flying- ... -head.html

Fortunately, the turtle had only minor scratches on his shell, and was sent on his way. The 71-year-old woman had some bloody lacerations, but otherwise was ok.

[Vandal]

... time for this one to...go through a windshield?

"Turtle crashes through windshield on Florida highway, gashes woman’s head"

https://www.al.com/news/2021/04/flying- ... -head.html

Fortunately, the turtle had only minor scratches on his shell, and was sent on his way. The 71-year-old woman had some bloody lacerations, but otherwise was ok.