HI, BILLY MAYS HERE....

The forum for general posting. Come join the madness. :)
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
Billy Mays
Merry Man
Posts: 59
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 9:08 am
Location: Infomercial Hell

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE....

#1 Post by Billy Mays » Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:47 am

...FOR TIMELINE®!!!

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE THE GUY NEXT TO YOU ON THE BUS ASKS WHAT YEAR THE ERIE CANAL OPENED, AND YOU COULD ONLY SIT THERE LIKE A DUMBASS? WELL, THOSE DAYS ARE OVER, BECAUSE NOW THANKS TO TIMELINE®, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO RACK YOUR BRAIN FOR A HISTORICAL DATE AGAIN!

COMING TO THE BORED THIS SEPTEMBER, TIMELINE® IS A STATE OF THE ART NEW GAME THAT WILL MAKE YEARS STICK TO THE CEREBRAL CORTEX LIKE GLUE! LOOK AT THAT AIRTIGHT HOLD! AMAZING!!! NOTHING'S STRONGER AT MENTAL RETENTION THAN TIMELINE®!

TIMELINE® IS PERFECT FOR LAUNDRY DAY, WHEN YOU THINK TO YOURSELF AS YOU POUR IN THE SNUGGLE, "I WONDER WHEN FABRIC SOFTENER WAS INVENTED AND WHO IN THE HELL DECIDED THAT WE NEEDED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?" NOT ONLY WILL TIMELINE® MAKE YOU 65% SMARTER, BUT IT WILL ALSO WHITEN THE DINGIEST WHITES!

TIMELINE® USES A PATENTED FORMULA FIRST INTRODUCED IN 2001 THAT GOES STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE OF THE HISTORICAL MATTER AND BRINGS FORTH ITS CHRONOLOGICAL DATA FROM EVEN THE DEEPEST CREVASSES FOR A ONE OF A KIND DISCOVERY! LOOK AT THIS SIDE BY SIDE COMPARISON WITH THE OTHER LEADING BORED GAME! NO OTHER BORED GAME CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO TIMELINE®!

IF YOU CALL NOW, YOU'LL GET THE AMAZING TIMELINE® (Allow 4 weeks for delivery) SENT TO YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN EVERY MORNING STRAIGHT FROM FANTINE ENTERPRISES! BUT WAIT!!! IF YOU ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES, I'LL INCLUDE THIS AMAZING SET, THE COMPLETE DISCOGRAPHY OF J.J. CALE! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'LL GET ALL 2 OF J.J.'S GREATEST HITS, AS WELL AS ALL OF THE OTHER SONGS NOBODY REMEMBERS HIM SINGING ALL ON 8 AND A HALF CD'S FOR FREE!!! (Just pay for shipping and processing)

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITNG FOR? ORDER THE AMAZING TIMELINE® TODAY!!!!
BUT WAIT..... THERE'S MORE!!!!!!

User avatar
NellyLunatic1980
Posts: 7935
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:54 am
Contact:

#2 Post by NellyLunatic1980 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:10 am

Hey, Billy Mays, I got a product for you. It's called "Nice Big Cup of Shut the F**k Up".

User avatar
Chris Crocker
Merry Man
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:57 pm
Location: In my room crying

#3 Post by Chris Crocker » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:14 am

LEAVE BILLY ALONE! HE'S ONLY HUMAN, YOU BASTARD!
LEAVE ME ALONE!

User avatar
silverscreenselect
Posts: 24390
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:21 pm
Contact:

#4 Post by silverscreenselect » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:32 am

NellyLunatic1980 wrote:Hey, Billy Mays, I got a product for you. It's called "Nice Big Cup of Shut the F**k Up".
Leave him alone. He's one of the greatest ball players of all time.

Oh, I thought you said Willie Mays.

Never mind.

User avatar
ulysses5019
Purveyor of Avatars
Posts: 19442
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

#5 Post by ulysses5019 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 9:15 am

silverscreenselect wrote:
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:Hey, Billy Mays, I got a product for you. It's called "Nice Big Cup of Shut the F**k Up".
Leave him alone. He's one of the greatest ball players of all time.

Oh, I thought you said Willie Mays.

Never mind.

Yeah, wasn't he in Major League?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

User avatar
Jeemie
Posts: 7303
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:35 pm
Location: City of Champions Once More (Well, in spirit)!!!!

#6 Post by Jeemie » Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:08 am

ulysses5019 wrote:
silverscreenselect wrote:
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:Hey, Billy Mays, I got a product for you. It's called "Nice Big Cup of Shut the F**k Up".
Leave him alone. He's one of the greatest ball players of all time.

Oh, I thought you said Willie Mays.

Never mind.

Yeah, wasn't he in Major League?
"Don't steal home without it"

"Hit like Mays, run like Hayes".

Image
1979 City of Champions 2009

User avatar
ulysses5019
Purveyor of Avatars
Posts: 19442
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

#7 Post by ulysses5019 » Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:20 am

Jeemie wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:
silverscreenselect wrote: Leave him alone. He's one of the greatest ball players of all time.

Oh, I thought you said Willie Mays.

Never mind.

Yeah, wasn't he in Major League?
"Don't steal home without it"

"Hit like Mays, run like Hayes".

Image

Yeah, but he couldn't outrun the IRS.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

Post Reply