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National Apathy Party · #1 Post by **National Apathy Party** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:22 am

To this week's fundraiser in support of the GASSS, PASSSOUT, or whatever the hell they're calling it now Party, who have nominated a ticket of Beebs and Admiral Whatshisname for the 2008 election.

The fundraiser will be held this Tuesday July 15th at 2:00 in the afternoon in the back room at the Gastonia Hometown Buffet. We'd have held it later in the day, but the dinner rates were outrageous! Thankfully, I was able to convince the manager that I was under 12 years old, so I got the kids rate.

Admission will be $1,000 per plate. Don't forget to get a clean plate if you return to the buffet, which will be another $1,000.

Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."

The keynote speaker will be Billy Mays, who promised to deliver a motivation speech if I allowed him to pitch his products while he was supporting out planks, whatever they are.

If you do not support the official GASSS planks, but choose to attend our fundraiser, our friend from the League of Pissed Off Voters will be happy to share his plank across the back of your skull.

For an extra $500, the candidates will autograph your napkin. Throw in $200 more, and you can have your picture taken with Admiral Whatshisname and the Hometown Buffet Bee.

We will be sharing the room with a bunch of seniors playing Bingo for free biscuits, so please be kind and do not disturb them because we need the old codger vote if we're going to win this thing.

I hope to see you there.... wait, I'm not gonna be there. I've got better things to do, like visit Todd Bridges in jail. Have fun, suckers!

kayrharris · #2 Post by **kayrharris** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:24 am

Do you take credit cards?

Artificial Gratuitousness · #3 Post by **Artificial Gratuitousness** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:27 am

Will there be wireless available for posting purposes?

Artificial Gratuitousness · #4 Post by **Artificial Gratuitousness** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:28 am

Limited to one line or less, of course.

#5 Post by **littlebeast13** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:30 am

Artificial Gratuitousness wrote:Limited to one line or less, of course.

I believe the going rate is $100 per line.

$300 for 2 lines....

lb13

ulysses5019 · #6 Post by **ulysses5019** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:37 am

Those seniors better not toss any biscuits or they will find themselves with one of beebs' planks upside their noggin.

Beebs52 · #7 Post by **Beebs52** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:44 am

So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

Here's Fanny! · #8 Post by **Here's Fanny!** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:06 am

National Apathy Party wrote:Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."

No JJ, No Fanny.

MarleysGh0st · #9 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:17 am

I could work up some <grumbles>® for the League, but I just don't care about the fundraiser.

ulysses5019 · #10 Post by **ulysses5019** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:36 am

MarleysGh0st wrote:I could work up some <grumbles>® for the League, but I just don't care about the fundraiser.

We could have a live grumble auction.

JJ Cale · #11 Post by **JJ Cale** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:43 pm

Here's Fanny! wrote:
National Apathy Party wrote:Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."
No JJ, No Fanny.

I'll be on the other side of the room playing Bingo, Love.....

National Apathy Party · #12 Post by **National Apathy Party** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:08 pm

Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

Beebs52 · #13 Post by **Beebs52** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:46 am

National Apathy Party wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

I've gotchur fistful.

ulysses5019 · #14 Post by **ulysses5019** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:50 am

Beebs52 wrote:
National Apathy Party wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....
I've gotchur fistful.

Do you still have my lemons?

Beebs52 · #15 Post by **Beebs52** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:53 am

ulysses5019 wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:
National Apathy Party wrote:
What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....
I've gotchur fistful.
Do you still have my lemons?

I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?

ulysses5019 · #16 Post by **ulysses5019** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:05 am

Beebs52 wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:
Beebs52 wrote: I've gotchur fistful.
Do you still have my lemons?
I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?

My bad. Tgirl has my limes.

Beebs52 · #17 Post by **Beebs52** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:20 am

ulysses5019 wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote: Do you still have my lemons?
I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?
My bad. Tgirl has my limes.

Well they must be as small as your lemons because I don't here tgirlie discussing them, do I? Hmmm? Hmmmm?
It's too early to imbibe something limey. Perhaps something orangey.

WWTBAM Bored

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