Advocating for your child/school acceleration.....

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5LD · #1 Post by **5LD** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:48 pm

Anyone here have a child accelerated in school? Anyone here with Gifted program dos/don'ts?

I haven't been involved in this stuff since I was in school and am curious as I begin getting myself informed if anyone here might have websites/books/advice.

Many thanks!

nitrah55 · #2 Post by **nitrah55** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:08 pm

Talk to as many parents as you can find who have kids already in the program.

May sound obvious, but I think that's the best source for information.

silvercamaro · #3 Post by **silvercamaro** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:22 pm

Gifted classes, accelerated classes, special interest classes, etc., are devoutly to be desired. That said, I will point out something that others might not. If Isaac seems to have athletic talent and/or desire and may possibly wish to participate in sports when he is in high school, he will be at a disadvantage in most activities if he is a year or more younger than his classmates. Therefore, I'm not always in favor of having kids skip grades, even when that's an option.

That's coming from the mother of sons who turned out to be competitive on a national level, although I had no clue that might happen when they were five.

I also have the perspective of having a father who was graduated from high school at the age of 15. He was small, compared to his 18-year-old classmates. He didn't really gain "productive years," however, as he didn't start college for two or three more years. As a freshman, he was then the same age as other freshmen and (in his own opinion) had a happier and more successful college career than he would have achieved otherwise.

I'm just throwing this into your mix of considerations.

Appa23 · #4 Post by **Appa23** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:44 pm

silvercamaro wrote:Gifted classes, accelerated classes, special interest classes, etc., are devoutly to be desired. That said, I will point out something that others might not. If Isaac seems to have athletic talent and/or desire and may possibly wish to participate in sports when he is in high school, he will be at a disadvantage in most activities if he is a year or more younger than his classmates. Therefore, I'm not always in favor of having kids skip grades, even when that's an option.

That's coming from the mother of sons who turned out to be competitive on a national level, although I had no clue that might happen when they were five.

I also have the perspective of having a father who was graduated from high school at the age of 15. He was small, compared to his 18-year-old classmates. He didn't really gain "productive years," however, as he didn't start college for two or three more years. As a freshman, he was then the same age as other freshmen and (in his own opinion) had a happier and more successful college career than he would have achieved otherwise.

I'm just throwing this into your mix of considerations.

I will echo SC's post, as i had some similar thoughts, re: "accelrated" meaning grade skipping. You also need to consider social and emotional maturity of children, especially younger children and especially boys in general.

We had to make that choice with our son when he started school: have him be the youngest in his class or one of the oldest in his class. We opted for the latter, and it has been the best parenting decision that we have made to date. (He already was on the smaller side because of his ethnic heritage.)

We also made the choice knowing that he actually had a very high emotional intelligence for his age. He likely would have been ok if he had started Kindergarten right after he turned 5, but he still was a bit "silly". The best choice for him would have been able to start school at 5.5 years old. Now, he excels as a leader for his classmates.

Anyway, a child always can accelerate or "jump grades" later, to get to where they "should be", but it is much more damaging to decide to hold the child back in order to return to his peers. Just my opinion, of course. . . .

I am sure that you can make an objective evaluation of what would be in your children's best interest.

DadofTwins · #5 Post by **DadofTwins** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:11 pm

We're facing a similar conundrum with our twins. Their test scores say they are ready to start second grade in August. But they won't turn six until September.

I was skipped ahead in elementary school. My wife was not. We both hated school, but for opposite reasons. I had trouble adjusting socially to older kids; she was bored.

Our local public school is really good with helping kids who struggle, but doesn't do so well with kids on the other end of the spectrum. Private school is not an option. We're considering home school, but that simply replaces one set of social problems with another.

Any voices of experience out there?

Appa23 · #6 Post by **Appa23** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:26 pm

DadofTwins wrote:We're facing a similar conundrum with our twins. Their test scores say they are ready to start second grade in August. But they won't turn six until September.

I was skipped ahead in elementary school. My wife was not. We both hated school, but for opposite reasons. I had trouble adjusting socially to older kids; she was bored.

Our local public school is really good with helping kids who struggle, but doesn't do so well with kids on the other end of the spectrum. Private school is not an option. We're considering home school, but that simply replaces one set of social problems with another.

Any voices of experience out there?

I may be confused. What grade were the twins in during the last school year? Kindergarten or First Grade?

5LD · #7 Post by **5LD** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:23 pm

Ours is a relatively simple grade skip over Kindergarten.
Isaac has been in a Montessori preschool for two years so he has had some school experience. My hubby is freakin' out cause he'll be a year younger than everyone else on sports teams and that means a disadvantage. I think one grade skip will help academically but it's not going to keep him from being bored. I skipped second grade and graduated from HS at 16. Isaac is waaaaay smarter than I ever was. I am very concerned about keeping him interested and motivated.

tlynn78 · #8 Post by **tlynn78** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:12 pm

My hubby is freakin' out cause he'll be a year younger than everyone else on sports teams and that means a disadvantage. I think one grade skip will help academically but it's not going to keep him from being bored. I skipped second grade and graduated from HS at 16. Isaac is waaaaay smarter than I ever was. I am very concerned about keeping him interested and motivated.

One thing to factor in is Isaac's size. I'm guessing he's closer to the 90th percentile in size for his age. I'm thinking he'll be keeping up with kids a year or so older than he is, size-wise. The sports thing is all well and good, but if he doesn't stay motivated and interested enough to keep his grades up, he won't be playing sports, anyway.

t.

DadofTwins · #9 Post by **DadofTwins** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:13 pm

Appa23 wrote:
DadofTwins wrote:We're facing a similar conundrum with our twins. Their test scores say they are ready to start second grade in August. But they won't turn six until September.

I was skipped ahead in elementary school. My wife was not. We both hated school, but for opposite reasons. I had trouble adjusting socially to older kids; she was bored.

Our local public school is really good with helping kids who struggle, but doesn't do so well with kids on the other end of the spectrum. Private school is not an option. We're considering home school, but that simply replaces one set of social problems with another.

Any voices of experience out there?
I may be confused. What grade were the twins in during the last school year? Kindergarten or First Grade?

They just finished Kindergarten

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #10 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:36 pm

I personally think that you have to really consider the social aspects of any move.

Maddie has always been one of the youngest kids in her class. She's never had a problem academically, but she struggles more socially.

Emma, with a February birthday, is an "old lady" compared to the other kids, but she has never had a problem making friends and although she can be bored with the work, I find ways of pushing her.

If you can find teachers who will differentiate the curriculum for your child to keep them challenged, I think that your kids are better off staying with kids their own age. You, as a parent, have to be proactive in finding the right teacher and monitoring your kids' work, but I think that it's best in the long run.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #11 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:38 pm

5LD wrote:Ours is a relatively simple grade skip over Kindergarten.
Isaac has been in a Montessori preschool for two years so he has had some school experience. My hubby is freakin' out cause he'll be a year younger than everyone else on sports teams and that means a disadvantage. I think one grade skip will help academically but it's not going to keep him from being bored. I skipped second grade and graduated from HS at 16. Isaac is waaaaay smarter than I ever was. I am very concerned about keeping him interested and motivated.

In California, kids are placed in sports leagues based on birthday. So if your son was pushed up a grade, he would play sports with kids who are a year behind him in school.

peacock2121 · #12 Post by **peacock2121** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:22 am

Ducks,

I do not envy your dilemma. I have no idea how to go about making your choice.

I do think that whatever you and hubby decide, that you do it wholeheartedly and as a united front and that you make your choice right. In other words, whatever you decide, don't blame the other one when it looks like that choice was bad. Whatever choice you make will have 'bad aspects' and 'good aspects'. Own all aspects - especially for Issac.

Appa23 · #13 Post by **Appa23** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:57 am

I saw this yesterday, and I thought that it gave good insight on this issue.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparen ... id=8150918

In part:

[Robert] Sternberg and others who have studied intelligence, creativity, and wisdom have pointed to other crucial qualities that are more likely to contribute to success. Demonstrating good executive function is a better predictor of success than IQ. Having good social skills, empathy, and self-understanding and a joyful involvement in any one of many possible passions from science to soccer are positive predictors. But more importantly, scoring high on an IQ test, while also lacking good executive function, good social skills, self-understanding, and joy in mastery does not bode well for that high scorer's future.

Of course, nothing beats having it all: high IQ test scores and analytic skills; positive character traits, such as being well organized and a hard worker; understanding one's self and others; being good at planning; and being determined to follow through and finish what one has started. Together, those add up to excellent odds for success.

What's more, there is a positive association among those scores and traits. Contrary to popular opinion, most high IQ scorers are not friendless nerds with two left feet on the playing field. They are more likely to be endowed with multiple skills and talents as well as pleasing personalities. Frequently these qualities and high scores do go together — but not always.

No matter what your child's gifts, it's clear to me what your priorities should be. Raise the odds for success by focusing on and seeking special help or tutoring in social-emotional skills, organizing and logical planning, not in raising test scores. Help Johnny and Jill to discover their passions, tune into the world around them, focus, and follow through, and you will be investing wisely in their future.

Melora · #14 Post by **Melora** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:11 pm

I have been lurking for weeks to pick up tips for would-be contestants, but I cannot resist throwing in my experience here. My older son in nursery school was obviously smart, above the 90th percentile in height, and turned 5 in December just in time to register for kindergarten for that fall, but we made him wait a year. Our parents were furious, as they considered accelerating a sign of status. Partly we were concerned about maturity issues and partly we were concerned that the public school teachers had such a bias against fall babies that they practically dared us to sign him up so they could hold him back.

Yes, he was ultimately bored academically in kindergarten, but he probably would have been bored the year before, too. We learned to regard elementary school as his socializing time, while his real education was the extensive reading he had plenty of time to do. He supplemented school with a gifted program and music lessons. We got the principal to agree that every teacher would provide more advanced assignments for him; some did, some didn't.

By middle school, the classes became academically challenging enough. Socially, being in the younger class was a huge plus, as he was comfortable despite being shy, and he ended up much shorter than expected. And academically, it worked out fine. He recently graduated from Harvard. So don't think waiting a year condemns your kid to not fulfilling his potential.