Wedding Blog: BD**2 - 79

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gsabc · #1 Post by **gsabc** » Fri May 23, 2008 12:15 pm

At least one pair of ladies can't make it to the shower. Cousin-in-law and her daughter. There's an unveiling for her hubby's uncle, and they have to be there. It's in completely the wrong direction for them even to arrive late at the shower. As she said, she'd rather be at the happy occasion than the sad one. So it goes.

BD has been having rib pain for a while, like for more than 12 months. No break, according to a doctor's checkup, but it hurts when she breathes. Comes and goes, but it flared up to the point of heading to our HMO's urgent care (i.e., after hours) clinic last night, where they were of decidedly no help. After being there for three hours, including X-rays, she got "Your ribs are inflamed." Yeah? NSS! So what's causing it? It's been around for over a year! She had a meltdown.

GW is trying to get her a real appointment with the regular doctor. The person at the doctor's desk, possibly a nurse or NP herself, said "Why didn't they take an MRI?" Why not indeed? It's a bit late for BD, but GW and I need to find ourselves another HMO group.

MarleysGh0st · #2 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri May 23, 2008 12:23 pm

An unveiling? Is this an end to a grieving period following a funeral?

peacock2121 · #3 Post by **peacock2121** » Sat May 24, 2008 4:15 am

MarleysGh0st wrote:An unveiling? Is this an end to a grieving period following a funeral?

The customs for a Jewish death are different and sometimes more strict than any other religion I have experienced. Here is what I found about the unveiling. I thought that it was always a year after burial. I discovered that is not always so:

It is customary for the grave marker to be put in place and for an unveiling ceremony to be held after the Kaddishperiod [11 months for parents and 30 days for other close relatives] is over, but no later than one year after the death. While many families wait until almost the full year has passed to do the unveiling, it may be done sooner; in Israel the stone is usually placed soon after sheloshim [the first 30 days of mourning].

The unveiling ceremony consists of the recitation of Psalms, a very brief eulogy encapsulating the most salient characteristics of the deceased, removing the cloth covering the headstone, the El Maleh Rahamim [God full of compassion--a prayer], and the Mourner's Kaddish[a prayer in praise of God recited by mourners]. Traditionally, Kaddish is not recited aloud if no minyan [quorum of 10]ispresent.

It is customary, before leaving the gravesite, to place a small stone on the marker to indicate that someone has visited the grave. This tradition may also reflect the biblical practice of marking the grave with a pile of stones. Or, it may be the end result of the custom of writing notes to the deceased and pushing them into crevices in the headstone just as notes are pushed into the Western Wall in Jerusalem. When no crevice could be found, the note was weighted down with a stone. In time, the paper disintegrated or blew away leaving only the stone. Thus, some began to think that the leaving of a stone was the custom... and so it became the custom.