Vet-2 Merv-0

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Beebs52 · #1 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 16, 2008 9:42 am

Yesterday was the great deball-cle for Merv the Cat.

We drove to what I thought was the Humane Society place. It was the OLD Humane Society place. At the end of an almost-unpaved street, in the bowels of a step up from the slum area of lovely Conroe. When I noticed the bright yellow peeling paint, broken out windows and liquor bottles decorating the parking lot I thought "?"

So we found the right, new Humane Society place and the vet wasn't there. blahblahblah

Picked up Merv at about 4 and he was loopy and drugged out. After we got home and he got out of the carrier he LURVED the carpet. And then LURVED my hand and started doing summersaults which wasn't what he was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to be calm and lie low so's not to hurt his removed bits.

He was a holy terror all night. Just freaking flipped out. The lackage of package apparently hasn't slowed him down.

Today he's peachy. Just deflated if you get my drift. Amazing.

gsabc · #2 Post by **gsabc** » Fri May 16, 2008 9:47 am

Beebs52 wrote:Yesterday was the great deball-cle for Merv the Cat.

We drove to what I thought was the Humane Society place. It was the OLD Humane Society place. At the end of an almost-unpaved street, in the bowels of a step up from the slum area of lovely Conroe. When I noticed the bright yellow peeling paint, broken out windows and liquor bottles decorating the parking lot I thought "?"

So we found the right, new Humane Society place and the vet wasn't there. blahblahblah

Picked up Merv at about 4 and he was loopy and drugged out. After we got home and he got out of the carrier he LURVED the carpet. And then LURVED my hand and started doing summersaults which wasn't what he was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to be calm and lie low so's not to hurt his removed bits.

He was a holy terror all night. Just freaking flipped out. The lackage of package apparently hasn't slowed him down.

Today he's peachy. Just deflated if you get my drift. Amazing.

One of my former cats had a favorite chair, which had a fairly low seat. He was so looped after his operation that he tried to jump into it. Front feet got up onto the cushion, back feet didn't, and he slowly slid back to the floor. Lay there looking puzzled and meowing piteously. "Wha' happen?" We picked him up, put him in the chair, and he slept till very late in the evening.

Beebs52 · #3 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 16, 2008 9:48 am

One of my former cats had a favorite chair, which had a fairly low seat. He was so looped after his operation that he tried to jump into it. Front feet got up onto the cushion, back feet didn't, and he slowly slid back to the floor. Lay there looking puzzled and meowing piteously. "Wha' happen?" We picked him up, put him in the chair, and he slept till very late in the evening.

Merv made a flying leap for the counter where his food usually is. I winced.

NellyLunatic1980 · #4 Post by **NellyLunatic1980** » Fri May 16, 2008 10:24 am

Don't worry, Merv. You'll get your bits back one day. Bruce said so.

Beebs52 · #5 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 16, 2008 10:40 am

NellyLunatic1980 wrote:Don't worry, Merv. You'll get your bits back one day. Bruce said so.

I must say, they were cute little fuzzy bits, too.

gsabc · #6 Post by **gsabc** » Fri May 16, 2008 10:48 am

An oldie, but still a goodie.
--------------------------------------------------
Abstract: MOUSE BALLS NOW AVAILABLE AS FRU (Field Replaceable Unit)

TEXT:

MOUSE BALLS ARE NOW AVAILABLE AS A FRU. IF A MOUSE FAILS TO OPERATE,OR SHOULD PERFORM ERRATICALLY, IT MAY BE IN NEED OF BALL REPLACEMENT. BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE NATURE OF THIS PROCEDURE, REPLACEMENT OF MOUSE BALLS SHOULD BE ATTEMPTED BY TRAINED PERSONNEL ONLY.

BEFORE ORDERING,DETERMINE TYPE OF MOUSE BALLS REQUIRED BY EXAMINING THE UNDERSIDE OF EACH MOUSE. DOMESTIC BALLS WILL BE LARGER AND HARDER THAN FOREIGN BALLS. BALL REMOVAL PROCEDURES DIFFER,DEPENDING UPON MANUFACTURER OF THE MOUSE. FOREIGN BALLS CAN BE REPLACED USING THE POP-OFF METHOD, AND DOMESTIC BALLS REPLACED USING THE TWIST-OFF METHOD. MOUSE BALLS ARE NOT USUALLY STATIC SENSITIVE, HOWEVER, EXCESSIVE HANDLING CAN RESULT IN SUDDEN DISCHARGE. UPON COMPLETION OF BALL REPLACEMENT, THE MOUSE MAY BE USED IMMEDIATELY.

IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT EACH SERVICER HAVE A PAIR OF BALLS FOR MAINTAINING OPTIMUM CUSTOMER SATISFACTION,AND THAT ANY CUSTOMER MISSING HIS BALLS SHOULD SUSPECT LOCAL PERSONNEL OF REMOVING THESE NECESSARY FUNCTIONAL ITEMS.

P/N33F8462--DOMESTIC MOUSE BALLS
P/N33F8461--FOREIGN MOUSE BALLS

10 Pound Balls · #7 Post by **10 Pound Balls** » Fri May 16, 2008 10:55 am

The only way to stop this crime against testicles is to require humans to also be neutered when they take their pets in. I guarantee you not another ball would not die in vain....

hf_jai · #8 Post by **hf_jai** » Fri May 16, 2008 11:09 am

One of the things border collie people will tell you is that you shouldn't fix 'em until they are sexually mature, because of the role sexual hormones play in brain development. As far as I know, this theory hasn't been scientifically substantiated, but it makes sense to me, and it's usually a good idea to listen to the people who know the dogs best.

So anyway, Ricky still has his bits, as he's not quite a year old. Funny thing, I'm surprised to find that they are in fact cute and fuzzy (I've never had a male pet before... if you don't count Mr Jai) and I don't want see him lose them. Does that seem strange? Well whatever, I haven't decided what to do yet, so I guess I'll sort of play it by ear... or, umm, by bit.

themanintheseersuckersuit · #9 Post by **themanintheseersuckersuit** » Fri May 16, 2008 11:15 am

hf_jai wrote:One of the things border collie people will tell you is that you shouldn't fix 'em until they are sexually mature, because of the role sexual hormones play in brain development. As far as I know, this theory hasn't been scientifically substantiated, but it makes sense to me, and it's usually a good idea to listen to the people who know the dogs best.

So anyway, Ricky still has his bits, as he's not quite a year old. Funny thing, I'm surprised to find that they are in fact cute and fuzzy (I've never had a male pet before... if you don't count Mr Jai) and I don't want see him lose them. Does that seem strange? Well whatever, I haven't decided what to do yet, so I guess I'll sort of play it by ear... or, umm, by bit.

http://www.neuticles.com/

Beebs52 · #10 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 16, 2008 11:24 am

hf_jai wrote:One of the things border collie people will tell you is that you shouldn't fix 'em until they are sexually mature, because of the role sexual hormones play in brain development. As far as I know, this theory hasn't been scientifically substantiated, but it makes sense to me, and it's usually a good idea to listen to the people who know the dogs best.

So anyway, Ricky still has his bits, as he's not quite a year old. Funny thing, I'm surprised to find that they are in fact cute and fuzzy (I've never had a male pet before... if you don't count Mr Jai) and I don't want see him lose them. Does that seem strange? Well whatever, I haven't decided what to do yet, so I guess I'll sort of play it by ear... or, umm, by bit.

When we had Elvis the Yellow Lab (who reunited with his bits 5 YEARS AGO?!?!!) we didn't fix him until he was close to two. The breeder wanted to see if he was worthy of possibly, well, breeding. His bits were large. Also, I think his brain was fully formed upon popping out of his ma's womb. Whew.

Male cats will start spraying and fun stuff like that if you don't de-bit them. Merv has developed several brains within the last 24 hours if you ask me.

hf_jai · #11 Post by **hf_jai** » Fri May 16, 2008 11:48 am

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:http://www.neuticles.com/

You know, I had heard of these before I ever got a male pup and thought they were kind of stupid. Now I can see that they might have some use (altho more for the owner than the dog). If I decided to do something like this, I'd have to take Ricky to a vet in town. Our old "country doc" vet would laugh me out of his office.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #12 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Fri May 16, 2008 12:11 pm

You didn't spring for neuticals?

Neither did we.

Beebs52 · #13 Post by **Beebs52** » Fri May 16, 2008 1:56 pm

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:You didn't spring for neuticals?

Neither did we.

We didn't want to confuse him even more.

What are these toy balls doing in my bits parts?

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