Fire up the toaster!

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the American League Central Division champion Cleveland Indians. --Bob

[Pastor Fireball]

The Cubs, the Dodgers, AND the Indians in the postseason?! Are we sure this is 2016?

[Bob78164]

Pittsburgh has lost 80 games this season so the Pirates cannot win more than 82 games. The Cubs have won 101 games so Pittsburgh cannot win the National League Central Division. The Dodgers and the Giants have each won at least 83 games so the Pirates will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Western Division. The National and the Mets have each won at least 84 games so Pittsburgh will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division.

It's time to lower the Jolly Roger. The Pirates have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

The Marlins have lost their 80th game this season so Miami cannot win more than 82 games. Washington has won 92 games so the Marlins cannot win the National League Eastern Division. The Mets have won 85 games so Miami will finish behind at least two teams in its division. Los Angeles and San Francisco each have won at least 83 games so the Marlins will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Western Division.

Miami's post-season hopes have gone fishing. The Marlins have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Kansas City has lost 77 games so the Royals cannot win more than 85 games this season. Cleveland has won 91 games so the Royals cannot win the American League Central Division. Boston, Toronto, and Baltimore all have won at least 86 games so the Royals will finish behind at least three teams in the American League Eastern Division.

There will be no World Series rematch this year. Kansas City has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the American League Eastern Division champion Boston Red Sox. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Baltimore's win this evening is the Orioles' 87th win of the season. The Yankees have lost 76 games so they cannot win more than 86 games. Boston has won 92 games so the Yankees cannot win the American League Eastern Division. Toronto has won 87 games so the Yankees will finish behind at least three teams in the division.

No Subway Series this year. The New York Yankees have been toastified.

Houston has lost 76 games so the Astros cannot win more than 86 games this season. Texas has won 94 games so Houston cannot win the American League Western Division. Three teams in the American League Eastern Division have won at least 87 games so the Astros will finish behind at least two non-division winners.

No repeat of the classic 1986 National League Championship Series. Houston has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the New York Mets, who have clinched a postseason berth. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Seattle's loss tonight was the Mariners' 75th loss of the season so they cannot win more than 87 games. Texas has won 95 games to Seattle cannot win the American League Western Division. Boston, Toronto, and Baltimore all have won at least 88 games so the Mariners will finish behind at least two non-division winners.

No wizardry for the Emerald City this year. Seattle has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the Baltimore Orioles, who have clinched a postseason berth. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Detroit has lost 75 games so the Tigers cannot win more than 87 games. Cleveland has won 94 games so Detroit cannot win the American League Central Division. Boston Baltimore, and Toronto all have won at least 88 games so Detroit will finish behind at least three teams in the American League Eastern Division.

Nothing GRRRRREAT about this season for the Tigers. Detroit has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the Toronto Blue Jays, who have clinched a postseason berth. --Bob

[Bob78164]

St. Louis has lost 76 games so the Cardinals cannot win more than 86 games. The Cubs have won 102 games St. Louis cannot win the National League Central Division. The Nationals and Mets each have won at least 87 games so St. Louis will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division. The Dodgers and Giants each have won at least 87 games so the Cardinals will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Western Division.

Time for Cardinal fans to grab a beer. St. Louis has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants, who have clinched a postseason berth. --Bob