Help wanted . . .

[SportsFan68]

This was under "Pets" in a craigslist ad late last week. I still think it should have gone under "Help wanted."


Wanted: Irritable and unpleasant medium-small predator

I'm looking for holistic and organic pest control for my house. The pests are some sort of scary hyper-intelligent, possibly modified rodents. Traps are ineffective on them and I fear that they are incorporating.

I'm looking for some type of bobcat, or possibly an ocelot derivative.

It should be possessed of an overall sour disposition and an aversion to affection. Me and my two other male room mates are not exactly pet people. The animal does not need to pose for lolcat pictures or do endearing things. Mostly it will be ignored. It will be fed just enough to keep it around. There is ample water in the toilet. It will have a constant source of snacks running through my garage and around the walls of my kitchen.

The animal should be generally disapproving of humans and extremely independent. I'm not looking for a friend. I need a cold blooded killer.

I prefer an orange one so I can keep an eye on them, just in case it turns on me, but if a dark pelt makes it a more effective killing machine, that is a risk I'm willing to take.

[PlacentiaSoccerMom]

I hope that they find what they are looking for. I would not like to have modified rodents roaming around my house.

[ulysses5019]

I got yer genetically modified rodent right here.....

[MarleysGh0st]

The animal should be generally disapproving of humans and extremely independent. I'm not looking for a friend. I need a cold blooded killer.

I love it!

And all because this person is concerned about being holistic and organic!

[MarleysGh0st]

Sprots, is this still posted on craigslist? Do you have a URL for it?

I don't usually e-mail stuff like this, but some friends might actually appreciate this one.

[littlebeast13]

This was under "Pets" in a craigslist ad late last week. I still think it should have gone under "Help wanted."


Wanted: Irritable and unpleasant medium-small predator

I'm looking for holistic and organic pest control for my house. The pests are some sort of scary hyper-intelligent, possibly modified rodents. Traps are ineffective on them and I fear that they are incorporating.

So we know where our giant Gambian and Indonesian rats have been hanging out lately....

lb13

[Evil Blonde Meece]

This was under "Pets" in a craigslist ad late last week. I still think it should have gone under "Help wanted."


Wanted: Irritable and unpleasant medium-small predator

I'm looking for holistic and organic pest control for my house. The pests are some sort of scary hyper-intelligent, possibly modified rodents. Traps are ineffective on them and I fear that they are incorporating.

I'm looking for some type of bobcat, or possibly an ocelot derivative.

It should be possessed of an overall sour disposition and an aversion to affection. Me and my two other male room mates are not exactly pet people. The animal does not need to pose for lolcat pictures or do endearing things. Mostly it will be ignored. It will be fed just enough to keep it around. There is ample water in the toilet. It will have a constant source of snacks running through my garage and around the walls of my kitchen.

The animal should be generally disapproving of humans and extremely independent. I'm not looking for a friend. I need a cold blooded killer.

I prefer an orange one so I can keep an eye on them, just in case it turns on me, but if a dark pelt makes it a more effective killing machine, that is a risk I'm willing to take.

Egads! We had no idea the blonde one had a hit out on us! We must hurry and chew through that computer wire of hers before we end up in some ocelot's disgusting tummy....