James Bond is an alcoholic

[Bob Juch]

It's no wonder James Bond prefers his martinis "shaken, not stirred." The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy's drinking habits.

Bond also is at high risk for sexual dysfunction, liver damage, car crashes, stroke and early death, according to findings published Thursday in an annual compendium of quirky medical studies in the British journal BMJ.

The study was done largely in fun, researchers say, but it comes with a serious message: Heavy drinking and a high-functioning life of international espionage, womanizing and stunt driving don't mix.

The authors found that Bond, as depicted in 14 classic Ian Fleming novels, drinks more than four times the limit recommended for British men.

"There are people capable of drinking this amount," says co-author Patrick Davies, a physician at Nottingham University Hospitals. "But they are not capable of drinking that amount and still being able to defuse a nuclear bomb."

MORE: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... j/4002179/

[MarleysGh0st]

It's no wonder James Bond prefers his martinis "shaken, not stirred." The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy's drinking habits.

When does Bond ever mix his own martinis?

"There are people capable of drinking this amount," says co-author Patrick Davies, a physician at Nottingham University Hospitals. "But they are not capable of drinking that amount and still being able to defuse a nuclear bomb."

Now it sounds like they're saying he's fictional!

[Bob Juch]

It's no wonder James Bond prefers his martinis "shaken, not stirred." The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy's drinking habits.

When does Bond ever mix his own martinis?

"There are people capable of drinking this amount," says co-author Patrick Davies, a physician at Nottingham University Hospitals. "But they are not capable of drinking that amount and still being able to defuse a nuclear bomb."

Now it sounds like they're saying he's fictional!

Bond mixes his own martinis when he's with female company in his room.

Shaking a martini gives you a weak one as the ice dilutes the alcohol.

[SpacemanSpiff]

Shaking a martini gives you a weak one ...

When I shake my martini, it gets pretty strong.... just sayin'

[silverscreenselect]

The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy's drinking habits.

Admittedly, my memory of the Bond books is somewhat rusty, but I don't recall him engaging in binge drinking.

Plus, the Bond books were written in the 50s and 60s when smoking was far more prevalent. So, I doubt a Bond of today would be lighting up as much.

[SpacemanSpiff]

The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy's drinking habits.

Admittedly, my memory of the Bond books is somewhat rusty, but I don't recall him engaging in binge drinking.

Plus, the Bond books were written in the 50s and 60s when smoking was far more prevalent. So, I doubt a Bond of today would be lighting up as much.

One of the things I remember when John Gardner started writing Bond books in the early 1980s was that 007 had switched to a lower-tar cigarette (custom-made, of course). He wasn't overly fond of them, but knew it was a "necessary evil" and that he smoked fewer of them as a result.

(Of course, "lower tar" might be on the same level of "low sodium" soy sauce -- it's lower, but still not healthy!)

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.
Statement attributed to Abraham Lincoln in response to complaints about Grant's drinking habits (November 1863); as quoted in Wit and Wisdom of the American