Is it True Auricomous-Americans Have More Fun?

[wintergreen48]

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.



A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?"

"No, Silly" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest'."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth'."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger'."



Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and three blondes were stuck on the escalator for more than four hours.



A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like...HELLO! You need to roll up the windows first."



A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."

"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing.! ....I'm going to buy it!!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?

"Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied........"Two popsicles and some coffee."



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter ?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest."

"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have a better chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

[peacock2121]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

[minimetoo26]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

[littlebeast13]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

Some people still have moral standards, you know....

lb13

[minimetoo26]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

Some people still have moral standards, you know....

lb13

I have them! They're just REAL low....

[peacock2121]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

beast set his account up that way.

I wonder how fast wintergreen can type.

[minimetoo26]

The funniest thing is:

You could have made this 6 posts and we would be further along in the gus chase.

and





You didn't!

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

beast set his account up that way.

I wonder how fast wintergreen can type.

Beast put him on a 10-minute delay, also...

[littlebeast13]

I think he has a 100-word minimum on his account....

beast set his account up that way.

I wonder how fast wintergreen can type.

Beast put him on a 10-minute delay, also...

I could think of better ways to use that power....

I'm setting the people who get on my nerves to one post per decade....

lb13

[minimetoo26]

beast set his account up that way.

I wonder how fast wintergreen can type.

Beast put him on a 10-minute delay, also...

I could think of better ways to use that power....

I'm setting the people who get on my nerves to one post per decade....

lb13

See you in 10 years...

[littlebeast13]

Beast put him on a 10-minute delay, also...

I could think of better ways to use that power....

I'm setting the people who get on my nerves to one post per decade....

lb13

See you in 10 years...

I'll have MinisTeenagerThatIsDrivingHerOutOfHerMind registered when you come back....

lb13

[minimetoo26]

I could think of better ways to use that power....

I'm setting the people who get on my nerves to one post per decade....

lb13

See you in 10 years...

I'll have MinisTeenagerThatIsDrivingHerOutOfHerMind registered when you come back....

lb13

I'll have two teenagers on Tuesday...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SHUDDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[ulysses5019]

I'm setting the people who get on my nerves to one post per decade....

I hate being censused....