Bad week for Lil' Buff

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Buffacuse · #1 Post by **Buffacuse** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:22 am

I feel like lately I've had nothing but bad news, but this week just sucked for us/Lil' Buff. First, at our parents' support group meeting in Buffalo for his Summer program, the research director dropped the bomb on us: all kids who have been in the program two or more years will not be invited back. Parents were sobbing, angry--it was awful. The RD said that they've acquired a lot of data on our kids and gotten a lot of research money in, but they need to validate what they've learned on (and, therefore help) new kids. We (the experienced parents) understand and support this, but it was us and our kids who filled ot the forms, sat for the interviews, and put our kids in the program to get them to this point and now, in effect, he's saying he's done with us for the sake of helping other kids--and we don't see why it has to be mutually exclusive. He said he might put together something to help us this summer but frankly we think it was lip service--we are done there and it is the only thing we've found that has helped.

Then, our advocate/educational expert went to obseve Lil' Buff in class this week and reported back that he is totally lost there--the material is way over his head and it is pointless to keep him on grade level with the mandatory testing that goes with it--he cannot possibly pass. Therefore, she believes he needs to be put on track for something called a Modified Standard diploma--something between a regular diploma and a special ed certificate--which he can achieve if he passes the 8th grade standardized tests by age 22. Great--our new plan for my son is that we hope that by age 22 he can pass a test designed for a 13-year-old.

Bad week here.

peacock2121 · #2 Post by **peacock2121** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:09 am

Buff,

I really feel for you. I know how much of your life has been about making sure Lil' Buff gets all the support he can get to have him be the best he can be.

As a parent, you need to decide when to own that he will always be behind those his age and when to start living your life with expectations appropriate to those facts.

Don't get there until you get there. Once you get there, own it and celebrate the accomplishments appropriate to that.

Stay the course and first make sure you have mapped the course and own the course.

a1mamacat · #3 Post by **a1mamacat** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:38 am

So sorry to hear this Buff. We all know how hard you have worked with and for li'l Buff.

I have no ideas, but just send support and hugs.

BackInTex · #4 Post by **BackInTex** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:53 am

Sorry to hear this. What Pea said makes sense, set and move forward with your own course. You know what is best for your child. And no one has more interent in his welfare than you. It does seem that you've been 'used' a little bit but hopefully gained much in return. Hang in there.

MarleysGh0st · #5 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:22 pm

Argh! What the research director said sounds similar to the typical double-blind scientific study: for the science to be valid--and ultimately be helpful to many more down the road--some have to be given the placebo. But nobody in that situation wants to be one of them. So the director has structured as more of an entry-level project than an ongoing one for the same set of kids.

Hang in there!

geoffil · #6 Post by **geoffil** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:44 pm

How terrible. What kind of program is your son attending? Isn't there state or federal laws that make equal education programs madatory? Why would they take away a program that is helping your son and probably everyone else? That makes no sense.

MarleysGh0st · #7 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:50 pm

geoffil wrote:How terrible. What kind of program is your son attending? Isn't there state or federal laws that make equal education programs madatory? Why would they take away a program that is helping your son and probably everyone else? That makes no sense.

That's a summer camp program that Lil' Buff has been attending up in Buffalo, not a local school program.

geoffil · #8 Post by **geoffil** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:59 pm

Thanks for the clarification, Marley.

Flybrick · #9 Post by **Flybrick** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:34 pm

Buff, I've nothing to contribute that will help, but, man, you have my respect.

That is a tough thing to man up and face 24/7. It takes courage to do so my hat is off to you and your family.