A couple of months ago my wife decided that I should get out of the house more. I had been working for her since the beginning of June and had been leaving the house less and less. I think she was starting to get nervous that I was going to become a hermit. Anyway, she told me to look for a part-time job for a few hours a week just to get out of the house (maybe I was getting on her nerves too). She mentioned Toys R Us where I had worked as a manager a few years ago, but I told her that there was no way that I was going to subject myself to retail during ‘The Season’. But I did say that the one job there that I always thought was pretty easy was that of an assembler, yes the people that put together the bikes and motorized ride-ons. So to make a long story (already) short, for the last 6 weeks I've been doing the job of many elves. It's kind of fun, thinking about some kid waking up Christmas morning to see a shiny new bike, a Barbie Jamin' Jeep or a Razor Scooter parked by the Christmas tree or Hanukkah bush. So when I'm applying the ^#@$ stickers or making sure that the %$&# brakes on the bike are just right I do it with a little elfin pride.
I have a feeling that they are going to ask me to stick around after Christmas and continue to work part-time, but I'm thinking about going back to helping out my wife and being Mr. Mom again. My wife says I should stay, but I've been falling behind on my Second-in-command duties with her, and she's really ruining the wheels on my buffing machine.
Well I have one more official day (Christmas Eve) of being an elf, and then it should be back to my regular routine. But if anyone on The Bored has any assembly nightmares (like 'I can't get the brakes to work correctly') come Christmas Eve, just let me know and I'll walk you threw it.
