Tough Weekend

[silverscreenselect]

This was a very tough weekend for me, in more ways than one.

Friday, I found out that one of my friends from my college days had died. We were part of a loose crowd of about a dozen or so who partied, played cards, and went to ball games, etc., together. He and I actually roomed together for a few months (which led to both of us nearly flunking out). As time went on, we lost touch somewhat, even though we both lived here in Atlanta, and when we got married, we wound up traveling in pretty much different circles, although I would see him at occasional parties.

He smoked heavily during his college days (drank and did other things heavily as well), but when he met the woman who became his wife, he cleaned up his act, went back to school (after he had dropped out), got serious about his job, got heavily involved in his church and social work, and became quite a pillar of the community. There was a big crowd at the memorial service today. Unfortunately for him, his body never quite forgave him for some of his bad earlier habits. He was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, and was able to fight it for quite a while but this week it caught up with him.

That wasn't the biggest shock of the weekend though. At the memorial service, Mrs. SSS and I sat next to a couple of the other guys from our crowd and their wives. One of them was a guy I'd been rather close to for a while but the last few years the only times I'd see him usually were at the big Super Bowl parties he threw. He hadn't had one the last couple of years and I assumed it was either him growing tired of the hassle or wanting to cut back a bit. So I was completely dumbfounded to learn that the reason he hadn't had the parties was because he and his wife (who also went to Georgia Tech with us way back when) had been separated for two years and divorced for one. What's really odd was that I had talked about him and made casual inquiries with other people with whom I've been in closer touch (of the "how's ___ doing these days" variety) and no one ever mentioned it.

He and his wife had been going together ever since I'd known him and they'd been married for 27 years. They argued, but the last few years, it always seemed the ritualized arguing that long time married couples do... they argue because they're used to arguing. And while both had their share of bad habits, I thought they'd long gotten to the stage where they'd accepted the other's shortcomings. I guess I was wrong. She moved out and bought a condo of her own. He's got their big house (it's a huge one-level ranch with a giant rec room in the basement) and he's all alone in it (they have one child who's off in college). Not coincidentally, he's a good bit bigger than he was a couple of years back. His wife, on the other hand, who had a weight problem as far back as their college days, is as slim as a rail now.

So I've come away from all this with two different feelings. One, I've got to stay better in touch with the people I knew, and, two, it's given me an even greater appreciation that my own marriage is still going well and that Mrs. SSS and I both have our health.

[SportsFan68]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend, SSS.

My wish for everybody is to never start smoking, or if they do, to quit now.

[ghostjmf]

I have some people I only see once or twice a year, at events we both go to, because we come from different parts of the country to get there. I haven't seen a few of them this year; one I know is in bad health because they called the hosts of one such event to say they wouldn't be able to come but gave their regards, & the hosts passed that on; the other I have to enquire about. I have their e-mail somewhere. I hope they will be in shape to answer it.