Out to buy porn and go bowling

[ToLiveIsToFly]

I don't think in my life I ever thought I'd be saying those particular words in that order.

I'm in a Tuesday night league. I'm in that league because I thought I was going to be in a Thursday night league - when I had a bowling party for my 40th Margy told a now-former coworker (he got laid off the same day she did, it turns out) about it and he asked if I was interested in joining his team. I was so psyched I went right out and bought shoes and a ball and everything. Turned out he was asking me to be a sub on his team not a regular, so I had to find a regular league, but I'm also a sub on the Thursday night. I feel like a junkie scoring an extra fix on weeks they need me.

One thing I did not know before this year is that it's a tradition in men's leagues to have a deck of cards. Every time you get a strike or spare you take a card. At the end of each game everyone throws in a buck and whoever can make the best poker hand out of their cards wins the $5. And they're always nekkid-lady cards. (And not the "trying to be tasteful" kind. These are raunchy.)

My regular team doesn't do this, but a couple of teams in that league do. Just about every team in my sub league does it, including mine. It seems to be a widespread tradition, at least on the North Side of Chicago. Last time I bowled in the sub league was 3 weeks ago. That weekend it was Mrs Fly's turn to do laundry and she found a nekkid lady playing card in my shirt pocket. I am very thankful that I'm married to the type of woman who is amused by such things rather than appalled.

It was my plan to bring it back next time, but now I can't find it. So now I have to find a place to buy a new deck.

You'd think sleazy porn would be easy to come by in a city like Chicago. And it probably is, but I have no idea where to look. Mrs. Fly suggested 7-11. I hope she's right. I know they have sleazy magazines. I can't wait to walk in and ask the guy if he has nekkid-lady cards.

It's a strange life where you ask your wife for advice on where to go buy pornography.

[peacock2121]

Somehow, I don't call nekkid ladies on a deck of cards porn.

Have fun!

[BackInTex]

Somehow, I don't call nekkid ladies on a deck of cards porn.

Have fun!

It depends on what they are showing, and how. Sounds like these are showing it and how!

[TheCalvinator24]

If you have a Spencer's Gifts in the vicinity, that would be my suggestion. Beyond that, you likely will have to go to an actual porn store.

Well, maybe not in Chicago.

They probably have them at Dick's Last Resort.

[TheConfessor]

I've always appreciated ladies who show their pips.

You can buy a deck of raunchy cards online (male or female) for $2.95. DISCLAIMER -- this is an explicit XXX site:
http://nawtythings.com/novelties/playing.html

[Vague Mini]

Whoever lives closest to Myrtle Beach, help the guy out!

Some of the "novelty" items people have brought back to me are stashed up higher than the little kids' heads. Unless the oldest son found them and took them. He'd love the glow-in-the-dark dice that have a room on one and a position on the other...

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

Whoever lives closest to Myrtle Beach, help the guy out!

Some of the "novelty" items people have brought back to me are stashed up higher than the little kids' heads. Unless the oldest son found them and took them. He'd love the glow-in-the-dark dice that have a room on one and a position on the other...

South of the Border is closer for me.

[ToLiveIsToFly]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I failed on the nekkid lady cards. 7-11 didn't have them. I called Tulip, which is the upscale sex aids store, and they said they had some. But when I got there, they had tasteful drawings, not raunchy pictures. I was late by then, so I just went to the alley. They had already replaced the deck and wouldn't let me reimburse them. Nice guys.

As for the bowling, I was Mr. Consistent again. 149-238-166. One of the guys is having prostate surgery next week and is out for the duration. So they say I can bowl every single week with them the rest of the year. Much as I'd like to, I don't think it's fair to the family to be out bowling every single night. Maybe I should just start being real obnoxious at home so my not being there becomes a relief. Yeah, that's the ticket.

[ToLiveIsToFly]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

[ulysses5019]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

Yeah, but how's the pornbuying going?

[SportsFan68]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

WooHoo!!

I'll be looking for a six next week!

Good luck!

[ulysses5019]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

WooHoo!!

I'll be looking for a six next week!

Good luck!

Now you're going out looking for sex?

What?

You said "six"?

Nevermind.

[NellyLunatic1980]

Is Tattooed Whore on one of those cards, by any chance?

[frogman042]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

Don't tell me you found cards with nekkid ladies on it with those measurements!!!!

[littlebeast13]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

Don't tell me you found cards with nekkid ladies on it with those measurements!!!!

That makes up for about a month's worth of bad puns.......



lb13

[ulysses5019]

Had my best week yet tonight. 201-170-219. Go me.

Don't tell me you found cards with nekkid ladies on it with those measurements!!!!

That makes up for about a month's worth of bad puns.......



lb13

I don't think so.