signs

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ulysses5019
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signs

#1 Post by ulysses5019 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:48 pm

Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:

>> 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Podiatrist's office:
>>
>> 'Time wounds all heels.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Septic Tank Truck:
>>
>> Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Proctologist's door:
>>
>> 'To expedite your visit please back in.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Plumber's truck:
>>
>> 'We repair what your husband fixed.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On another Plumber's truck:
>>
>> 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Church's Billboard:
>>
>> '7 days without God makes one weak.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Towing company:
>>
>> 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On an Electrician's truck:
>>
>> 'Let us remove your shorts.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Non-smoking Area:
>>
>> 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
>> action.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Maternity Room door:
>>
>> 'Push. Push. Push.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At an Optometrist's Office:
>>
>> 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
>> place.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Taxidermist's window:
>>
>> 'We really know our stuff.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> On a Fence:
>>
>> 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At a Car Dealership:
>>
>> 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> Outside an Exhaust Fitting Shop:
>>
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
>>
>> 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> At the Electric Company
>>
>> 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
>>
>> However, if you don't, you will be.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In a Restaurant window:
>>
>> 'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
>>
>> **************************
>>
>> In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
>>
>> 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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Rexer25
It's all his fault. That'll be $10.
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Re: signs

#2 Post by Rexer25 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:54 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:


>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
Are we to assume this is the Milwaukee just north of Trent-on-Blasingstoke, in Worleiceiceishire County?
Enough already. It's my fault! Get over it!

That'll be $10, please.

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o-man
Posts: 314
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 1:41 pm

Re: signs

#3 Post by o-man » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:08 pm

Rexer25 wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Signs over a Gynecologist's Office:


>>
>> At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
>>
>> 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
>>
Are we to assume this is the Milwaukee just north of Trent-on-Blasingstoke, in Worleiceiceishire County?
Nah. Just big fans of Kerouac's On the Road.

P.S. I think of Dean Moriarty.
Dallas is a rich man with a death wish in his eye

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frogman042
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:36 am

Re: signs

#4 Post by frogman042 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:16 pm

I once went to a 7-11 after putting on a brand new shirt and a new pair of shoes. The store worker told me that I had to leave. I asked why and I was directed to read the sign at the entrance:

"Shirts and Shoes must be worn"

---Jay

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silvercamaro
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Re: signs

#5 Post by silvercamaro » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:17 pm

The only place I've actually ever seen a sign that said "Tyre Shop" was in the small city of Dorking, from the window of a tourist bus while passing through on the way toward Stratford-Upon-Avon.

I've always loved the name Dorking, because it sounds like a great way to kill time.

"What have you been doing?"
"Not much. Just dorking around."
Now generating the White Hot Glare of Righteousness on behalf of BBs everywhere.

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jaybee
Posts: 1922
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:44 pm
Location: Knoxville, TN

Re: signs

#6 Post by jaybee » Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:38 pm

I was considered a dork when in High school.

Sometimes, I think my kids still feel that way.
Jaybee

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secondchance
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Re: signs

#7 Post by secondchance » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:57 am

At a Photography Studio:

"We (heart) to flash!"


:P

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