The Bradley Effect

[peacock2121]

I'll take issue with both of the italiced (however the heck you spell that) parts.

Parents do matter, we do influence, we can see what difference our influence is making from the very beginning. We can stay awake. When we fall asleep, we can note that we were asleep and step up. We can mold our influence, we can do the dance, we can do all sorts of things to influence our children. Some give up too ealry and think there is nothing they can do. Some try the same thing over and over when it is as obvious as the nose on their face that what they are doing is not making the difference they want to make.

We make little difference by showing the path - we make more of a difference by living or being the path. We can not make them walk, we can make the walk inviting and interesting and love them along the way.

I like my nuggets of wisdom to be just that- nuggets.

I'll be so bold as to say saucy's nugget of wisdom meant everything you just said.

Thanks Jeemie.
I thought I was clear that "no matter what" meant that one had actually made an effort to do one's best, and that "show them the path" was also pretty clear about leading by example.

It wasn't clear to me. Sorry I didn't hear or read what you meant.

I chunked your nugget into what I have heard from people who did not mean what you meant.

I apologize if I offended you. I didn't intend to.

(and there are times I intend to offend, this wasn't one of them)

[Jeemie]

Thanks Jeemie.
I thought I was clear that "no matter what" meant that one had actually made an effort to do one's best, and that "show them the path" was also pretty clear about leading by example.

You're welcome.

I can't help it- I'm a "P"-type! My mind starts to wander after reading two sentences!

[mellytu74]

Oh, my - there have been some beautiful and poetic things written in this thread.

By and large, the BBs, they are good peoples.

[Bob Juch]

Sorry Bob. Our kids will become who they are, no matter our contributions. Perhaps you can look at the fact of mitigation in that in spite of her views, she chose a quiet way to express them, simply by not voting, rather than a violent public display of rioting etc. That might bring some calm.

We can only show them the path, we can't make them walk it.

I'll take issue with both of the italiced (however the heck you spell that) parts.

Parents do matter, we do influence, we can see what difference our influence is making from the very beginning. We can stay awake. When we fall asleep, we can note that we were asleep and step up. We can mold our influence, we can do the dance, we can do all sorts of things to influence our children. Some give up too ealry and think there is nothing they can do. Some try the same thing over and over when it is as obvious as the nose on their face that what they are doing is not making the difference they want to make.

We make little difference by showing the path - we make more of a difference by living or being the path. We can not make them walk, we can make the walk inviting and interesting and love them along the way.

I agree with Pea.

If parents don't influence, then there would be just as many racists coming from non-racist backgrounds as come from racist backgrounds. I do not think that is the case.

Children are wet clay. Parents shape that clay. As children get older the clay begins to dry out and the shaping and re-shaping when you see flaws becomes more difficult. There are other 'artists' working on the clay (society, TV, friends) at the same time. It is the primary artists' (parents) to make sure they know who those artists are and see the work the other artists have done and fix what needs to be fixed. If they don't look at the work daily, they will miss some of the other artists' work and it may become permanent as the clay continues to dry. Once they become adults the clay is dry and all but unmoldable. Parents can see their work and the work left behind by the other artists.

Be good and attentive artists! Your children are your works.

That's true up until they become teenagers. Their peers influence them much, much, more then. Of course parents can try to influence who their peers are.