The Wisdom of Our Times

[wintergreen48]

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of 'smart'?

A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes are having more fun, do they know it?

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.

Learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth control.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.