Joke of the Day

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#26 Post by Vandal » Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:39 am

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Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#27 Post by Vandal » Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:44 am

Image
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Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#28 Post by Vandal » Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:42 pm

I was arrested last week for stealing cooking utensils
Spoiler
It Was Worth The Whisk
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Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#29 Post by Bob Juch » Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:27 am

“Have you heard of Murphy’s Law?”

“Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong.”

“What’s about Cole’s law?”

“No.”
Spoiler
“It’s a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream.”
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#30 Post by Vandal » Mon Jun 15, 2020 5:43 am

Image
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Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Beebs52
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Re: Joke of the Day

#31 Post by Beebs52 » Mon Jun 15, 2020 6:38 am

What did the custodian say when he jumped outta the closet?
Spoiler
Supplies!
Oh please.

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mellytu74
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Re: Joke of the Day

#32 Post by mellytu74 » Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:52 am

The Pope was up at the New Lodge the other day, performing miracles.

Sean asked him if he could help with his hearing.

The Pope, all solemn, puts his hands over Sean's ears and prayed.

"How's your hearing now?," asked the Pope.

"I don't know," said Sean. "It's not until Tuesday."

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Estonut
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Re: Joke of the Day

#33 Post by Estonut » Tue Jun 16, 2020 5:55 pm

Melly's joke reminded me of one that Letterman did many times over the years:

My buddy so-and-so told me he just got a new hearing aid.

I asked him, "what kind is it?"

He looks at his watch and replies, "3:15."
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#34 Post by Vandal » Wed Jun 17, 2020 5:32 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#35 Post by Vandal » Wed Jun 17, 2020 7:48 am

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

Spoiler
You may be entitled to condensation.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#36 Post by Bob Juch » Thu Jun 18, 2020 8:14 am

A banana walks into a bar and orders a beer. That bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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ne1410s
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Re: Joke of the Day

#37 Post by ne1410s » Thu Jun 18, 2020 12:21 pm

Visitor: Hey, that pig has a wooden leg!

Farmer: That pig saved my family’s life. There was a house fire. That pig squealed and woke us up.

Visitor: Is that how he got hurt?

Farmer: No no. A fine hog like that you don’t eat all at once.
"When you argue with a fool, there are two fools in the argument."

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#38 Post by Vandal » Mon Jun 22, 2020 5:48 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#39 Post by Vandal » Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:04 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#40 Post by Bob Juch » Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:51 pm

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra?

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#41 Post by Bob Juch » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:46 am

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait 2 weeks to see if you got it.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#42 Post by Vandal » Tue Jun 30, 2020 1:32 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#43 Post by Vandal » Fri Jul 03, 2020 7:41 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#44 Post by Vandal » Sat Jul 04, 2020 9:09 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#45 Post by Vandal » Sat Jul 04, 2020 2:02 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#46 Post by Vandal » Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:07 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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Bob Juch
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Re: Joke of the Day

#47 Post by Bob Juch » Sun Jul 05, 2020 5:27 pm

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.

User avatar
Vandal
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Posts: 4505
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Re: Joke of the Day

#48 Post by Vandal » Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:40 am

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

User avatar
Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#49 Post by Vandal » Fri Jul 10, 2020 5:30 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

User avatar
Vandal
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Re: Joke of the Day

#50 Post by Vandal » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:40 pm

Image
_________________________________________________________________________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man

Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

Coming in 2020: The Dragon's Song by Binh Pham and R. M. Clark

Working on:
Scout's Honor (follow on to The Secret at Haney Field)

Recently finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

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