WWTBAM Bored

We had Parent-Teacher conferences for the older two last night.

Here is my question for the teachers out there:

When you have a kid in your class who is not working up to their potential, as you see it, what do you do? What do you say? Do you call the student on it? Would you do anything if the student still is doing well in class?

Depends on the kid. Stephen responds very well to nurturing and encouragement. He shuts down when challenged. Rain Man responds to a challenge. I think Mini-me needs the nurturing, also, but likes the challenge.

You know your kids. Find what works for them, and hope the teacher can implement it.

Mini, I already know my kids and what works for them. Maybe I was being deliberately vague, but this is centered more on how the normal (or above normal) teacher thinks.

Ah. Sometimes people want the parents' input when they put "teacher" in quotation marks. But it's always a good idea to tell the teacher what works for your kids. They know when to stop pushing Rain Man before he melts down, and not to put any anger in their voice, because I told them what the triggers are.

But I'm not a REAL teacher.

Appa23 wrote:Mini, I already know my kids and what works for them. Maybe I was being deliberately vague, but this is centered more on how the normal (or above normal) teacher thinks.

I'm sensing that you have some disapproval of the course one of your kids' teachers is taking?

You are your kids' most important teacher, Mini, and you should not think of yourself as anything less.

However, my post/question was not about seeking advice. It was about wondering how teachers look at situations and how they react.

I have a theory that teachers (school teachers, dance teachers, piano teachers, coaches, etc) are afraid that they are overstepping their bounds if they call "B.S." on kid's effort.

Mini, you are right about talking to them about your kids. I brought it up because I essentially decided that I needed to give our kids' teachers permission to not treat them with kid gloves. If they make a silly mistake because they were hurrying through something, they need to be called on it and told to slow down. If my daughter decides to play the game of "I don't know the answer", while a big grin is plastered across her face, then her teacher needs to call her on it. She especially will put forth the least amount of effort that she is allowed to do. In a sense, it is important to talk to the teachers so that what is said at home is said at school, and vice versa.

I'm not afraid of too many things, but gunshy might describe the situation. I've been teaching long enough that I recognize there are parents out there who can make my life miserable if I do anything that might lower their little angel's self-esteem. Similarly, there are parents who want me to be artificially rough on their kid, to toughen them up.

When I'm faced with the situation you describe, it definitely depends on the kid, but it depends even more so on the parent. When I make my first contact, I try to make it innocuous and non-threatening, to get a feel for where the parent is. I then adjust my treatment of the kid accordingly.

Thanks for your response, MrK. It is good to get some input from someone on your side, in order to evalaute what I am thinking. I absolutely understand the "rock and hard place" situation.

I am guessing that my expereince is not totally the same. In coaching soccer, especially the older kids, I already told parents and players up front that there is definitely one issue thatI I have above all others: not putting forth absolute effort (sidenote: hence my disappointment with the "Not-So-Big Red" this season.)

Anyway, as we prepared to talk with the teachers, we had those worries that we would get stereotyped as one of "those parents".